Life With One Hand

Today I thought I would write a post with reflections about living one-handed.  It has been two and a half weeks since my surgery and I've got another week and a half to go before I meet with the surgeon again. My instructions up until that time are to avoid any "weight-bearing activity".

My hand is sore but not really painful -- more of a nuisance then a big problem. But if I try to do anything at all with it it sends me very definite messages to stop immediately! So I'm really okay but for the time being I can't use my left hand at all. 

My first observation is that being one-handed is a real pain in the neck!  There are lot of things that I would like to do or need to do that I'm unable to do, or that I can't do without help. And that's frustrating. There other things that I can still do but which take much longer than they normally would, and sometimes doing one of those things for very long makes my right arm or hand sore and I have to stop and rest it. The last thing I want to do is to get a repetitive strain injury on the right side so that I can't use either hand!!!  It is often hard not to be grumpy, as my husband and son can verify :)

But I should follow by saying that I have a lot to be thankful for as well. My surgery was on my left hand and I am right-handed. There are many things I can do easily with my right hand that I can't do it all with my left hand: writing, using scissors, etc. Plus there many others that I'd normally do with both hands that can manage with my right hand alone even though it's slower and more awkward -- like getting dressed or making a sandwich.

Another thing that I had not  thought about ahead of time is that losing the use of a hand is not as serious as losing the use of a whole arm. There are lots of things you can do with an arm even when the attached hand is not useful: moving inside doors around, holding things down while your right hand does something with them, shoving stuff with your elbow, leaning on something to keep your balance, etc.

And really if I had to make a choice I would rather have a hand out of commission that a foot.  It would be awful to need help just to get from one place to another. Right now I'm very grateful to be able to take walks around the neighborhood because it clears my mind and distracts me from irritation with my hand. I'm happy that moving around inside the house is not an issue at all. I don't have to ask for help every time I want to get to a different room or move across the room. I don't need help going to the bathroom or showering -- those are really important!.  When I need help from a family member or just want to talk to them it's easy to find them and get to where they can hear me.

So I'm doing my best to be a Pollyanna about how things could be a lot worse and it's certainly true. However, not being able to use a hand, even my left hand, is an incredible nuisance. My job is done almost totally at a keyboard and even though it's summer right now I have quite a bit of course planning and email communication to be done before September. And yes, it's quite possible to type with just one hand but it's much slower than two-handed touch typing and I make a lot more mistakes and my right shoulder gets tired so I have to take a lot of breaks.  I haven't invested in dictation software for my computer because it's expensive and not a lot of help with computer code and technical terms.  However, I have a nice free dictation tool on my phone and I'm composing a lot of this blog post with that.  As my husband pointed out, this is pretty "meta": dictating about dictating!

When I'm not typing two of my favorite things to do are playing the piano and knitting. The piano is obviously completely out and even after I regain some use of my hand it may be a long time before I get back to where I was. The best way I  have found to cope with that is to be diligent about reminding myself that I can move all my fingers in spite of being warned about that thumb tendon. I do expect to get back to the point where I can play the piano and organ at church again and my dream of working as an accompanist after I retire from my teaching job is still quite possible.

Knitting will probably come back sooner but it still may be a while.  Knitting is something that makes a great difference to my mental state; whenever I'm nervous or unhappy or worried sitting down and knitting helps a whole lot. We often spend time after dinner in front of the TV and I've always got a knitting project handy to go with that. I've discovered lately that I have lost my ability to sit quietly with my hands folded and just watch something.  A couple of crabby days after my surgery David very kindly drove me to Michaels so that I could buy a knitting loom - probably just as important to his sanity at that point as to mine! It took me a little while to figure out how to use it and originally I needed to weigh the thing down on my lap with my left arm as I knitted with my right hand but I have progressed to the point where I don't need my right arm at all. I'm still sticking with very simple stuff and it's not as creative as some of the fancy kinds of knitting that I like to do, but it feeds that part of me that likes the feel of the yarn and needs to be making something. By the time my hand recovers I'm going to have a big pile of nice warm hats for charity. That's a good feeling to have something productive come out of this time when there are so many things I can't do.  Here is a picture of the almost-5 hats I have made so far since the surgery:

 

Hand Surgery

I had surgery on my hand yesterday!  Quite an interesting experience and all is well.  Many friends have asked for details so I thought I'd type the whole story here and refer anyone who asks.  For obvious reasons I am not typing quickly!  In a nutshell, it was minor and I am fine.  The following will contain no pictures or gory details but just the story of what happened.  It might get a little long, but read what you want.  It is therapeutic to write about significant events so this is my diary today -- write it all down and move on!

And another disclaimer: I have no medical training and I'm explaining  my layperson's understanding.  If anything I write is wrong or doesn't make sense the fault is mine not the doctors'.  I suspect that most or all of the "surprises" I got along the way were due to my misunderstandings. 

A little over a year ago I noticed a little hard hard lump on my left hand near the base of my thumb.  It was near a spot where I had been a klutz and banged my hand a while before.  I showed it to my doctor and he referred me Dr. A, an orthopedic surgeon.  It just happens that I already knew Dr. A. because she is part of the same team of surgeons as the doctor who did David's major elbow surgery last year and she handled several of his post-op visits.  So nice to have a familiar friendly face. She told me that sometimes the body gets confused by internal bleeding and thinks it needs to grow new bone to support this "new body part".  There was a long unpronounceable name for this but I didn't retain it.  She said as long as it didn't grow I could just leave it.  Removing it would basically be trading a small lump for a scar and also that it would involve a small risk of nerve damage.  So I said no thanks!  She did warn me that sometimes these things do grow -- the body getting carried away with building this nifty new bone -- and if that happened we should talk again.

A few months ago I started thinking the thing might have grown a little and then I had a few friends ask me "what's' the matter with your hand?" so I knew I needed to have it seen again.  Work was nuts and I didn't make the appointment as quickly as I should have but I eventually met with Dr. A again.  She said yes, it needs to come off and she'd set it up.  Like most non-critical  surgery in Ontario there would be a wait and she predicted late June or July.  She said I'd probably have my hand in a splint for "a few days".  She told me they'd use a nerve block and sedate me and that made me a bit nervous but she assured me I would be kept calm and comfortable.

On Tuesday when I still hadn't been given a surgery date I called and the admin person I talked to gave me a little lecture on the need for patience -- shortage of OR time, this is non-critical, etc.  I did tell her about my job, which is 90% keyboard but just Sept-May so healing in the summer would really be nice.  Still I resigned myself to waiting quite a while and maybe having to either take some leave or get some typing help during the fall term.

Then two hours later I got a call from the hospital saying "we just had a cancellation for Thursday; would that work for you?" and I said YES!!!!!

So that's the back story.  Yesterday was Thursday and it involved several surprises, some of them quite unpleasant emotionally, but in the end all is well.

On Thursday David and I got to the hospital for my 12:30 call time and I had my intake interview.  And then the first surprise: they told me Dr. B, not Dr. A, would be doing my surgery.  I still don't know the reason for that, but it probably had to do with this being a last-minute cancellation.  Still, not a problem at all.  Dr. B is the head of  Dr. A's surgical group and he did a wonderful job of David's elbow repair last year.  I had met him at some of David's post-op check-ups.  Plus he is both a practicing doctor and a researcher and has collaborated with several members of my department who do research into biomedical computing.  There are a huge number of ways computers are involved in surgery in this day and age.  After David's accident several of these profs independently dropped by my office and asked who would be doing his surgery and assured me that he was in very good hands.  So no problems with that change of plans.

Another fun thing is that when we met Dr B he remembered David and asked after the elbow.  David gave him the usual answer, which is that it's working well except he can't quite touch his shoulder.  He did the usual accompanying gesture of bending his arm up and for the very first time one finger actually bumped his shoulder and he was able to do that again and hold it.  A very nice surprise!

After some waiting I got called in for a conversation with the anaesthesiologist.  Actually most of the talk was with a resident, with the attending listening in.  They were very friendly and fun.  The resident said "I do most of the work, but he's the one they pay".  And then he started referring to general anaesthesia and when I questioned him about that there was some conferring and they told me I could have it either way and I said "I want to be asleep!". They said that was probably fine but they'd check it with the surgeon -- who did confirm it later, so that was another pleasant surprise.

Then I met with Dr. B and that wasn't so pleasant after the pleasantries about David's elbow were over.  Dr. B is quite nice, but some of what he had to say was not.  He looked at my hand and said "hmmm, what is this???"  Not what you want to hear.  I passed on what Dr. A had told me and he said "I'm not so sure" and he'd have to see what he found when he got inside and started talking about a biopsy, at which point it took some effort not to panic.  I also told him I am a pianist and he explained very nicely about the way things connect up in the hand. My layperson's summary is that the nerves probably wouldn't be hard to avoid BUT the lump was right under the tendon that connects the thumb to the arm muscles that control it.  He said he would do his best to avoid it but he couldn't make any guarantees.  At that point I really had to think about my breathing.  Losing the use of my thumb would have meant not only no piano but a lot of difficulty with typing, knitting, and almost everything I enjoy or need to do.  And then he said that this might have to be the first of two surgeries with this first one being "a fancy biopsy".  I was not a happy camper, to put it mildly!

Fortunately everything moved very quickly after that -- basic medical questions and check-up, confirming I was good to go for general anaesthesia without staying overnight, getting into the humiliating gown, etc, and finally the anaesthesiology tag team joined me again and walked me over to the OR.  Their kidding around did a lot to help my nerves and I appreciated it a lot.  My favorite part was when they started putting in the IV and I turned my head away.  They said "are you OK?".  "I said "yeah, I just don't like watching that".  The doctor who was putting the needle in said "I know what you mean; I'm not watching either" and we all three giggled and I fell asleep with a smile on my face and the difficult part of the day was all over with.

Later I drifted back up to consciousness and slowly figured out I had had the procedure and must be in the recovery room.  Before I even opened my eyes I cautiously wiggled each finger and I could feel them and control them.  Big "thank-you" prayer and I opened my eyes.  A nurse came over and told me that the doctor said he got the whole lump out and said it looked benign.  Another big thank-you!  They're still doing a biopsy to make sure but I am much less worried.  I don't think they say something that positive unless they're pretty sure.

So it was an exciting day but it looks like all is well.  Nothing much more to tell except the wonderful fact that as of 1pm on Friday (the day after the surgery) I have absolutely no pain.  They gave me some narcotics to take home and told me to try tylenol first and I haven't even needed that.  Yays!  I am feeling good enough that I have already talked David into taking me to Michael's tonight to look for a knitting loom or some other kind of craft to do with one hand.  I miss my knitting!!!  I figure if my knitting addiction is the top thing on my mind I must be doing very well :-)

Change of Name and Some "Stuff"

I made a decision today: this blog isn't only about travel.  I have enjoyed blogging about travel and want to continue doing so, but I also enjoyed posting about seeing Prince Charles and I think I'd like to blog every now and then to post some random pictures I like or to write about whatever random thing is on my mind.  So instead of a travel blog this is now officially a random blog!  Nothing regular and no real unifying theme, just random ideas and pictures now and then.  I've left the URL alone but the title has changed.

There used to be an NPR call-in radio show called "Talk Talk" which claimed that its purpose was just to talk about stuff.  People would call in about anything that what was on their minds, from politics to jokes or anything at all.  So from now on, this blog is about stuff.

I have three bits of stuff today.  The first is a cute little visitor I saw a few days ago on the rail of our back porch as I was looking out the kitchen window.  He seemed really comfy and stayed put even when I walked out on the porch with my camera.

In the background you can glimpse my struggling garden and see that the basil and tomatos are finally starting to grow.  But the weeds seem to grow much faster....

The second thing is a pair of socks I just finished and am happy with:

I am happy with these for two reasons. First, I like the crazy colors. Hurray for self-striping yarn! Second, I tried a new way of doing the heels and it worked out really well.  They fit my feet better than many other socks I've made.

My last thing is also a finished knitting project of a different kind: a little toy I made for the daughter of a friend of mine.  She is about to become a big sister and I made a little sweater for the baby so I thought she deserved a present too and I decided to try a little hedgehog toy I found on Ravelry.

This toy was a lot of fun to make because included a lot of interesting knitting -- which I like -- and a very minimal amount of sewing pieces together -- which I don't really like. But the important thing was that my little friend and her mom both liked it.

Knitting (and occasionally crocheting too) is one of my very favorite things, so a reasonable amount of my "stuff" here may be knitting-related.  For fellow knitters, I'm marglamb on Ravelry.  I will add these two projects to my Ravelry "project" page soon with details if you care.

A Royal Encounter

First, the pictures, then the story....

I was not nearly as close to Prince Charles as the first picture would imply.  He chose the opposite side of the street on the walkabout and I had to crane my neck to see him, but I managed to get a good shot between people's shoulders and my new cell phone has a very nice camera with high resolution so it looks like he was right next to me.

The Duchess, though, really was very close.  (She prefers the title "Duchess of Cambridge" instead of "Princess of Wales".)  She walked down my side of the street shaking lots of hands, including mine!  That was a thrill.  She seemed to want to greet as many people as possible, so no real conversation -- she said "hello" and I said "welcome" and then she was on to the next person.  She had a nice smile and it was exciting to see her so close.

Even though I didn't see Prince Charles close up I could see the way he was interacting with people.  He stopped for fewer people than the Duchess did, but seemed to be having little conversations with them.  He had a way of leaning forward with a very intent, interested expression on his face as though he really cared about what they were saying.

By the time they arrived I had struck up an acquaintance with many people standing near me and we all agreed that the choice of light colored clothing was really helpful, as it helped us spot the guests of honor in the midst of the sea of security people and dignitaries who were all in dark suits!

OK, now that that you've seen the pictures, here are a few more details for anyone who wants to keep reading...

Prince Charles and Camilla crossed the pond to help celebrate Canada's 150th birthday on Saturday, July 1.  They were in Ottawa on that day, of course, but on the day before they made an appearance in Wellington, Ontario, about 100 km from where we live, and that's where I took these pictures.

I have been a fan of the British royal family for many years, from back before I ever expected to be living in a Commonwealth country.  I admire the Queen very much and was thrilled to have a chance to see her near Kingston during her trip to Canada in 1984, shortly after we moved to Kingston.  In spite of all the horrible publicity Prince Charles has endured since then I'm also very interested in his career.  I'm fascinated by what it must be like to be the heir to an ancient throne in this modern era and I've read a lot about him and admire him for the hard work he's been doing for years.  One of the things I found the most interesting in my reading was the fact that he has used his position as Duke of Cornwall (a secondary title of each Prince of Wales) to promote organic and sustainable farming practices. He converted his large farm there to organic farming and invites farmers to visit and learn about the methods used there.  I admire him for using his influence to help promote a safer and more natural way of producing food. This interest in sustainability and eating locally is one of the reasons Prince Charles decided to visit Prince Edward County, the home of many organic farms and vineyards.  He visited the Wellington Farmer's Market and also at least one winery, but only the former was a public appearance.

Another reason to have picked Prince Edward County is that it's named after a Prince Edward who was one of the many sons of George III and lived in Canada for many years as the commander of the British military forces there.  He was also the father of Queen Victoria, which makes him an ancestor of Prince Charles -- through his mother Queen Elizabeth, of course, but also through Prince Philip who is himself a descendant of Queen Victoria along a different line.

Prince Edward County is a large peninsula that extends into Lake Ontario.  It has beautiful fresh-water beaches and pretty little towns, including Wellington, and is a favorite day trip for many residents of Kingston.  So I was looking forward to a nice drive out to see the royal visitors. Wellington is a small town on the opposite side of Prince Edward County from us and has a lovely farmer's market.  It normally is only in business on Saturdays, but they set up a special Friday market just for the Prince to see.  When we visit the area we usually meander over by way of a cute small ferry, but in view of the expected crowds I used one of the bridges from the much more boring highway 401.  Not as fun a drive, but no traffic jams or long waits for the ferry.

I was disappointed to wake up on Friday to find that the weather forecast had been correct and it was grey and miserable and raining.  I considered giving up on my plan to drive all the way out there,but decided to go anyway and hope for the best.  The drive out was dreary, but just as I parked the car (in a very waterlogged unpaved country parking lot) the rain stopped and by the time the royal couple arrived the sun was out.  I'm really glad I decided to take a chance and go!

On Friday morning, before the Wellington visit, Charles & Camilla visited Canadian Forces Base Trenton.  For my family in the U.S. and anyone else who might happen to read this and not be familiar with this area, here's a quick geography lesson.  Trenton, Ontario is roughly halfway between Kingston and Toronto.  The Trenton military base holds the same importance as Andrews Air Force base in the U.S. because when a soldier dies in action their body is taken to Trenton for the "repatriation" ceremony.  Highway 401 between Toronto and Trenton is now officially called the "Highway of Heros" for this reason.  So the base was an important place for Prince Charles to visit -- not just as a royal but as someone who served the British military for years.

Prince Edward County is a large peninsula that stretches into Lake Ontario from the Canadian side near Trenton.  Here is a map to explain this better (you can click on it to see the details better):