Seafarer Knitting

In just about 10 days I have managed to knit quite a lot for the Seafarer's collection.  I have enjoyed having something like this to do while I'm housebound.  Even if I can't go out much physically it's a way to contribute something to the world.

The grand total (out of 3 Caron Chunky Cakes) is 2 hats, 2 pairs of mittens and 2 scarves.  That feels like a ridiculous amount to have knit in just over a week, but I have a lot of time on my hands and these are fairly simple items made with really big yarn.  I have never actually knit with such big yarn or with such big needles before.  In knitting lingo, I used super bulky (size 6) yarn and 8 mm needles and got 10-11 stitches to 4 inches.  Compared to knitting socks with 2 mm needles and 8-9 stitches to the inch, this was quite a switch. 

This was a good way to create a lot of useful objects so fast, but after doing it I'm not sure I'd want such thick items myself.  The mittens in particular feel a bit clumsy.  Maybe on the windy deck of a ship on a cold ocean the warmth will be worth it.

Caron Chunky Cakes are multi-colored and I like the combination of colors in this one (and in others I saw in the store) but I wish they changed colors more frequently.  It's OK for the scarfs and is probably very pretty for blankets, but a hat didn't take enough yarn to have all five colors on it, and the mittens look kind of silly and don't match.  Still, they will be warm and cozy and I hope the recipients enjoy them.

I intend to make Seafarer knitting an annual thing, but I think if I use super bulky yarn again I will look elsewhere (probably by mail) and buy several colors separately so I can choose how to stripe them.  Or just make solid color stuff. 

I hope these items make a few seafarers' lives a little easier.  I'm almost totally shut in at the moment and it's good to know that I can make some things that will help people far away from people.  It reminds me that I'm still part of the big world.

(If any knitters want details, I will be posting this stuff on Ravelry soon.  My Ravelry id is marglamb.)

This Is My Brain On Drugs

For young ones who might not recognise the reference, "This Is Your Brain on Drugs" was the slogan for a series of anti-drug commercials from back in the 80s, suggesting that illegal drugs will scramble your brain.

While I'm waiting for treatment for the pinched nerve(s) in my back, I am taking some powerful medication (prescribed by my doctor) and it is indeed scrambling my brain.  That's one of the reasons I'm on sick leave; you wouldn't want to hear me try to teach through this haze!  Today I thought I'd share one an example of how this is affecting me.


First, I need to establish that I am an experienced and competent knitter.  Knitting has been a hobby for most of my life.  I can make socks that actually look nice and fit people's feet, and sweaters that people really do wear and enjoy, even when I'm not around.  I can even do "stranded knitting", which means juggling multiple balls of yarn of different colors to make pictures in the knitted fabric.

So when my back started acting up I thought "at least I have a hobby I love that I can do while sitting on my recliner".  And it's true; knitting has been a comfort at this time.  But it has also reinforced just how much the pills are slowing me down.


Recently I saw an item in our church bulletin about collecting things for people in the Merchant Marine.  One of the things they were looking for was knitted hats, mittens and scarves.  Apparently many people working on ships are not well-paid and are in great need of such items when they sail through cold regions of the ocean.  That sounded like a wonderful way to help others at a time when I am stuck at home and not able to do much.  Normally this sort of item is quite easy for me to knit up quickly.

Yesterday David drove me to Michaels to pick up some yarn.  I was looking for some thick yarn in order to make some warm items in a hurry, since the deadline is only a few weeks off.  Luckily they had some BIG cakes of chunky yarn at a reasonable price.

These things are huge -- more than half a pound of yarn each.  The yarn is of the "super bulky" variety, meaning you have to use big needles and you get about 3 stitches per inch.  Perfect for making nice warm stuff in a hurry.  I thought that one cake was probably enough for a hat/mittens/scarf set but decided to buy two.  And then I noticed they were having a "buy 2, get1 free" so I took home 3 cakes.  If I can't use up all three by the deadline I can make more for next year.

This was yesterday morning.  That afternoon I cast on a simple hat -- really just a tube that comes together at the top.  No complicated shaping.  And by the evening I had finished a large-sized adult hat and was feeling pretty pleased with myself:

A nice basic warm hat for someone in need to warmth.  I felt pretty good about that.

This morning right after breakfast I followed up by making a mitten:

I polished that off in just a couple of hours and was extremely pleased with myself.  Mittens are obviously more complicated in shape than hats and so they take more fiddling.  I have a favorite generic mitten pattern that tells you how to make a mitten to fit a particular hand using any kind of yarn.  This was thicker yarn than I had used before and I was aiming for a large adult male hand so I had to estimate up a little from my own hand size.  But I got it all to work and was happy with the result.  I even took careful notes so that I could make a second mitten to match the first.

I took some time off knitting and then picked up my yarn and needles in the later afternoon to make the second mitten.  Now comes the problem.  By this time of the day I've got a lot of pain medication in my system and my brain is mush.  I referred to my notes from the morning and cast on and nothing went right.  I ripped out the first attempt and tried again.  Still it didn't work and I couldn't figure out what I'd done wrong.  After several attempts to get more than a few inches of a mitten done without error I gave up in disgust.   After dinner I felt like knitting again but decided to start a scarf instead of trying anything more complicated.  That turned out to be a good decision.  A scarf is basically just a flat rectangle, so no shaping involved.  I chose an extremely simple stitch and got more than a foot of scarf done:

Lesson learned!  While I'm on these pain medications I need to work on simple projects in the evening and save the more interesting stuff for earlier in the day. 

Please don't misunderstand; I am very grateful for these pain pills.  Without them I was spending my time huddled up in a ball and crying with pain.  I will continue taking them faithfully until I get up to the front of the queue for treatment that can actually fix the problem.  But it is a very frustrating process.

Hat & Mittens & Church

Since starting my sick leave I have been devoting a lot of time to knitting.  I just finished a project that I've been meaning to do for ages: a hat and matching pair of mittens.  This is just in time because my favorite hat & mittens got lost at the end of last winter.  But I'd been meaning to make these anyway and it was fun to do.  Here they are:

Working on them helped pass the time as I'm needing to be pretty sedentary because of my back.  I've got lots of yarn left over and am planning to follow these things with a scarf. 

If you're a knitter and want to know about yarn and patterns, I'm marglamb on Ravelry (link).

My pain is less awful since I went on sick leave.  Being quiet really has helped.  But the pain is still a real issue.  I still need to be careful where & how I move and sit and still take the pain pills which make me tired and fuzzy. 

I went to church for the first time in quite a while.  It was really wonderful to be back after so long away!  I stayed away because sitting still in a church pews is torture for people with this kind of back issue -- even worse than most hard, straight chairs.  But our church is very understanding and our pastor encouraged me to feel free to move around and do whatever I needed to to be comfortable.  So I spent part of the service lying down on my yoga mat in the "prayer room" next to the sanctuary.  During another part of the service I stood up and stretched in the hall -- and ran into some old friends who were visiting from our of town with their new baby, who I hadn't gotten to meet yet.  That was a real treat!  And for more of the service I was able to get comfortable sitting sideways on a pew.  It was really good to be back, even if it required some creativity to keep from hurting myself.

Going to church was part of accepting that this back thing is a long-term issue and not just a short illness.  I can't live a completely normal life until it is resolved, but at least I can figure out some ways to do things that are important to me. 

OUCH!

Warning: This turned into a rather long post about my current health status.  You don't have to wade through it all.  Here is an executive summary: I am having serious back problems, I'm on sick leave, it's miserable but it can eventually be treated and fixed.  And in the meantime I'm miserable and grumpy but relieved to be off work for the duration.

I’ve had back pain on and off for years but it has always been manageable until recently. It started to get worse in the spring and I had an MRI, which showed two displaced vertebrae and some mild stenosis. My physio explained to me that both of these things can pinch the nerves around your back, which causes severe pain. My doctor’s office agreed to refer me to KOPI (local pain clinic), where I’m told they have some treatments that can really help this sort of pain, basically by convincing your nerves to shut up. So the outlook is hopeful but the waiting time is 3-6 months.

In July it suddenly escalated to the point where I was in excruciating pain all the time and could hardly walk. I called our doctor, who was unfortunately out of town, and I got an appointment with his locum. The nice young locum listened to my description of the pain and gave me some pills. He gave me a note for Queen’s telling them that I needed to do a lot of my work at home where I could be more comfortable. The pills took the pain from excruciating to only just bearable and the thought of 3-6 months was still pretty difficult. In computer geek terminology, it’s a FIFO (“first-in-first-out”) queue instead of a priority queue. People who hurt worse don’t get in faster. Even with the pills there is a lot of pain and, walking is difficult and so is standing and so is sitting in a regular chair. Something as simple as walking around the block or spending half an hour in an office chair is awful. The only way I’m even moderately comfortable is lying down or sitting in a recliner. And the pills cloud my mind so that mental tasks take twice as long as they should.

It was hard to face the start of school in this shape, especially with a half-mile walk between office and classroom and more walking to get to and from the bus. I explained my predicament to my students and held office hours right after class and then went home and managed everything else by e-mail – siting in my recliner with my laptop. It was really rough, not just because of the pain but because the pills made me so sleepy and forgetful. I felt like I was only barely keeping up and I knew the semester would get busier as it went along.

As I was getting more and more discouraged and miserable last week, my doctor’s office called. The real doctor was back and wanted to know how I was and if I’d like an appointment. Yes, please! He took me much more seriously. He examined me and discovered I have no reflexes in my left leg, which concerned him and scared me. He said “I’m surprised you’re still working” and said that besides the cognitive issues he worried a lot about my walking around campus in the colder weather that’s coming, where the sidewalks are often quite slippery. He referred me to a neurosurgeon, which really scared me until he said “don’t worry, nobody does back surgery any more!” and explained that the neurosurgeon was still the best person to evaluate my condition and make recommendations. He said he hardly ever referred patients to neurosurgeons but it was what I needed. That doctor will be able to see me much sooner than the pain clinic – “only” 1-2 months.

I went home and thought about all this for about 2 seconds and then sent a note to my department head explaining my situation and asking for sick leave. I expected guilt trips and stories about how “everybody has back pain now and then” and how there was no extra professor who could cover my course. But he was very kind and agreed right away that I needed sick leave. He has arranged for a visiting professor to teach my fall course and is also looking for someone to teach my winter course as well since it’s unlikely this will all be resolved before January.

I am at home full-time now and finding I feel much better already from being able to rest and stay in a more comfortable environment. And probably not from worrying about keeping up at work. The pain is still there but it’s bearable when I take it easy and take my pills. I’m still in the process of handing over course material to the new professor, but that will be done within a few more days and then I can rest as much as I need to and the mental fog won’t be such a difficult issue. I have never had to take a long leave from work before and the “Protestant work ethic” inside of me is trying to make me feel guilty, but I just feel grateful. I am enjoying not hurting nearly as much as I had been hurting when I had to be out and about.

I appreciate all the people who have been asking after me and praying for me. It’s not great, but it’s bearable and I have assurances that I will eventually get better. David is taking wonderful care of me. Things could be a lot worse. I’m just praying for patience and for an eventual resolution to all of this that gets me back to a fairly normal life. 

I am trying to practice gratitude.  I am thankful for:

• My recliner
• The pain pills
• My husband and daughter who put up with my complaining about the pain and who help me do things
• The dinners my husband cooks for us in spite of being very busy at his job
• My department head who understood
• Sick leave policy at Queen's.  Some people lose their job when they are sick for a long time
• Knitting
• Books
• Netflix 
• Music to listen to
• Friends who have e-mailed to tell me they miss me from work/church/choir.  I miss you too!